Howdy!
I've 'slept in'...... it's 5:00 a.m. !
Oh well, the early bird... While you all (or y'all) slept, I've tossed and turned creating a plan for the new beachside abode that you're closing on today!
- Never have eaten at a Luby's
- Never been to Vegas
As I had mentioned, Vegas seemed to be on January's dance
card. As for Luby's, I hold on to the
dream that this (eighth gate of hell) will be reserved for my ashes. Although Jim is a pretty classy, and creative
guy, I suspect that my funereal luncheon is beyond his scope, and my 50 place
settings of Lenox will go unused, in favor of an unlimited chocolate fountain
at Luby's........ (sigh)!
- Some butt-ugly sleeper sofa
- Two gaudy, multi-color accent chairs that even Picasso
would hate. It's vitally important that
the chairs have two (coordinating but not matching) toss pillows to throw on
the sofa! This trick, is spoken of (in
professional circles) as pulling-the-color-story-through-the-room.
- Two (solid color) ceramic lamps with pleated
lampshades. These lamps are
important. They must exactly match some
arbitrary color in the chair fabric, and stick out like a sore thumb, or, they
must be in the shape of a seashell, seahorse, or driftwood.
- Artwork is generally some Crashing-waves-on-the-beach-with-seagulls
motif. With some sort of rheumy moon, or
sun in the background.
- In the kitchen: it's Melmac baby! Corelle will do, but there always needs to
be a coffee cup, or salad plate missing.
- Flatware: we can forget the Reed & Barton Francis I
sterling. Most condo owners opt for
pressed tin cutlery from the dollar store.
- The coffee pot is always vintage Mr. Coffee. Usually found at the thrift store.
- Coffee mugs must never match or coordinate, and
generally must boast slogans, and logos of long forgotten, and bankrupt service
companies or T-shirt emporiums.
- Barware - the ubiquitous and omnipresent collection of
stolen-from-a-casino shot glasses, and then some jelly glasses for the children
(all mismatched).
- Beds:
Ahhhhhhhhhh here is a specialty area!
The box spring and mattress must always have some sort of
'sway-backed-horse' indentations (even when new). While
a decent mattress and box spring measures in at a full 18 - 24 inches tall,
beach bedding must be wafer thin. When
compared to a thirty year old futon mattress, beach beds must always come up as the loser
(apparently there's a law that says so)!
- Bedding such as quilts, comforters, and other linens
always come in seafoam green with mauve accents. Apparently the 1980's has never let go of
the beach!
These are but a few of the challenges in decorating a
beach home! I'm really not 'the guy' for this type of
project.* The dollar store makes me
nauseous, and seafoam green causes me hives!
However, I do see a colleague of mine who resides in Galveston, and
appears to have the formula perfected. However, I think it's probably easiest to
walk in to the 'it' store in Galveston who can deliver a 'package'. This way, all of the color-coordinating is
professionally(?) achieved without the interventions of someone with actual
taste!
While a weekends stay is a tempting barter, I'm afraid
that this deal will cost us our friendship(s).
I'm the type of guy who rents someone else's property, and leaves the
property with the furnishings in fashionable, but oddly placed angles, and arrangements. I actually re-arranged the
(city-block-sized) waiting room of the Oncology Department at Graduate Hospital
in Philadelphia - I was nervous - it took fifteen minutes - I was still nervous
when I finished, but it looked better <G>!
*Proof of my
ineptitude at beach decorating, is that, not once, have I even mentioned
wicker. Talk about your ubiquitous and
omnipresent....... how could I NOT mention wicker and still consider myself a
candidate for this job!
I’m afraid my only real value in this project is to sniff
haughtily at whatever result is achieved by some yet-to-be-named-or-found, shot-glass
slinging, sandal-wearing, living-in-Dickinson decorating colleague!
Wishing you the best of luck in your new getaway
location!
Warmest regards:
Tom
Tom Scanlon ASP,
RESA-PRO
Houston Home Staging
832.260.3151
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